Reflections of a Consumptive Mind
by Madi Holmes
Summary: Remus Lupin finds himself friends with a 17 year old wizard living on the streets of London. The two share an early morning dinner, reflecting on their past and the problems within their culture.
1. Chapter One

Author's notes: I wrote this in about a day and a half. It helps to listen to the Mishima soundtrack (it was on when I wrote it). It also has references to spoilers up to OotP: It takes place after it, but only vaguely references to it.

Author's note part two: What was seriously meant to be a one-shot has turned into a very long story. The REST of this story took about a week to finish while on a skiing trip in Colorado. It truly wasn't meant to be this long (i.e. 90 pages written), but that's the way it happens sometimes. But don't worry. It IS finished; I just have to type it.

Reflections of a Consumptive Mind

Remus was tired. A lunch break, an extended weekend, a nice holiday in the country, an extended leave of absence, an indefinite sabbatical to anywhere and everywhere. The were-wizard looked down at his drink. He didn't normally drink- too easy to lose control over himself, his secrets, his emotions, but, at the moment, a nice, alcohol-laden drink was his only desire.

The next thing he knew, a dingy night sky fettered by towering brick edifice and a green metal box of a monster swam in and out of his peripheral vision in time with his breathing patterns. He had just decided to stay there forever, content with his current universe when the sudden urge to vomit overcame him. He staggered onto to his knees and emptied his stomach of partially digested alcohol and stomach acid. Using the newly identified trash bin as leverage to stand up, he found himself in an alley. The place was completely foreign, even the few stars that had somehow pushed their light through London smog had morphed into foreign constellation patterns. Shuffling a few steps, he found an odd trail of sickles and galleons leading to his undamaged wand and empty money case.

He gathered up what he could find, cleaned off the muck off his clothes, resenting the fact that no matter how many _scourgify_ spells he did on his tongue, he still tasted bile, cigarette ashes, and firewhisky.

Shuffling out of the cul-de-sac, he emerged into an over lit street full of Muggles and too loud music. He felt every inch the middle-aged hung over drifter that he looked, and stayed pressed against store walls. Walking down the streets, he was left relatively in peace outside of a few panhandlers who looked only slightly worse than he did. Passing trendy bars, Indie film theaters, and closed book stores, he walked aimlessly, idly wondering how far he had gotten into his holiday.

A puff of white light seared his retinas, leaving him seeing spots for a minute. He looked for the source until he saw another pulse emerge from across the street. A small crowd had formed on the sidewalk, barring any view of the scene, but he knew the type of illumination well. He quickly crossed the street, and found a boy of about 17 turning tea cozies into Stephen Hawking books with way too much magical melodrama required.

"All right, Ladies and Gents," the boy laughed, "now I nee a shoe- any shoe. You, Sir, with the Hindu Swastika shaved into your hair. Might I see your steel-tipped, leather boot? No? All right then. You, Ma'am, might I see your extremely cheap rose?"

The woman gave him the flower, which he palmed into his left hand. With more theatrics, he began chanting." Flower, flower in the night, let's see something nice and bright." With that, the flower began to levitate and spin clockwise. The crowd "ooh'ed" as the red color drained from the petals onto the leaves, then the stem promptly fell off.

The crowd began to clap as the transformed flower began to acquire the characteristics of a full moon. It spun in a lazy orbit around the crowd. Remus could see the famous face rotate into the rarely seen cratered dark side. Remus felt hollow inside, his face growing numb. The man next to him elbowed him in the ribs and said, "this is completely fake. I mean, you can see the wires." Remus laughed at the sentiment as the rose suddenly dropped onto the street and crumbled into little dried out pieces. The rose's previous owner stormed off in a huff as the teenager sprouted a cheeky grin and began to collect money from his remaining audience.

Remus slowly took out a Sickle and flipped it into waiting hands. The boy looked up surprised, instantly wary of the wizard. He shoved the rest of the money into his pocket, and quickly walked away from the older man.

"Wait!" Lupin cried, following the boy.

"Get bent!" The boy yelled back, trying to get lost in the dwindling crowd. Remus quickly pursued, and finally grabbed the boy's wrist under a blue light that left them both pale and harshly gaunt.

"I'm not going to hurt you," the werewolf said softly, letting go once the boy stopped squirming. "Or turn you into the Ministry."

"I'm not breaking any rules," the boy replied defiantly.

Remus smiled. "Doing magic in front of large crowds of Muggles might possibly be construed as 'breaking the rules.'"

"Not if they think that it's magic," the boy spat back.

"That almost made sense," Remus laughed, studying the boy, his hair was a dark blonde shaped that hung in half clipped curls, while hazel eyes that seemed to change colors stared back at him. His face was rife a smattering of freckles which also, Remus noted, seemed to change pigment levels according to the boy's mood. "Look, I don't want to turn you in. I just wanted to meet you."

"Why?"

Remus shrugged. "You don't meet many wizard street performers openly doing magic in the middle of London."

"It's a living," he replied.

"Where are your parents?" Remus asked, noticing a bank clock digitally blink 4:32 AM.

"Around. Look, I'm hungry, you're filthy, and I don't need a social worker."

Remus looked down, and realized he looked a lot worse than he had previously thought. "I'm not normally this bad- I was mugged." He explained limply.

"Sure," the boy rolled his eyes, his freckles darkening. "Stupid wizards. We always underestimate Muggles, and then blame them when we let something idiotic happen to ourselves- like getting robbed. Then they get blamed because we're too stupid overestimating our own intelligence. Then we have to hear about how some poor schmuck wizard got mugged for the next fifty years."

Remus smiled at the boy's candor. "So how much did you get for that little stunt back there?" The boy looked around, then pulled out a clump of cash and change. "Ah, about five pounds, then." Remus quickly counted.

"Enough for dinner," the boy stated, trying to not look impressed at Remus's ability to add Muggle money that fast.

"If you like disgusting Muggle fast food that has absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever."

"I'm 17 years old- what do I care about nutrition?"

"Ah, yes." Remus chuckled. "I've forgotten that fast food is an act of anarchic independence and not a health biohazard at your age." Remus let go of the boy, and the two walked down the street. The two walked down the street a while, drifting past the hardcore night owls in various states of sobriety until they found a diner that seemed dingy enough to accept Remus's state of dress.

"So, why were you stalking me earlier?" the boy asked, plopping into a booth. "You're not one of those freaks that like to pick up boys, are you?"

"What? No!" Remus sputtered. "I'm a teacher!"

"Oh, like teachers can't be pervs."

"Well, it's not like that. I was just curious as to why you're out on the streets at this time of night doing magic in front of Muggles."

"Like I said- It's a living."

"I see." Remus replied. "Remus Lupin," he announced, sticking out a hand.

"Tollie Andrill, short for Tollivan," the boy replied, taking the older man's hand.

"I am curious," Remus said, taking a glass of water from an overly tired waitress. "As to how you are able to perform magic without a wand."

Tollie's temper blazed up again, savagely rolling up his left sleeve. Taped to his inner forearm was a thin, bendable willow wand. "We're way too traditionalistic. It's our major crutch. We think that there's only one way to do anything concerning magic, and straight innovation is left to rot. The problem with our society is our superiority complex. The Purebloods are the worst- inbred Nazis the lot of them."

Remus chuckled. "Well, I wouldn't go that far. Some of my best friends were Purebloods. And rumor has it that Voldemort was only half. So I suppose that it really depends on the person. Personally, I'm in one of the lesser blood lines- a nice mix of pedigrees and mutts."

"We're not dogs," Tollie countered harshly.

"No... sort of an in-joke," Remus replied. "So how about your line?"

"As pure as undriven snow, unfortunately. I can't stand it."

Remus accepted his greasy hamburger and fries from the tired waitress, and began to eat. "So why are you out here? Amongst the Muggle Rabble?"

"I prefer the company." Tollie announced, full of pride. "They don't judge you for the most part. Well, they do- I'm not an idiot, but what I grew up hearing is completely different from what I've experienced. It's like we shut the Muggles out of our world for 400 years now, and they've gone and morally evolved on us. They're no longer the god-fearing monsters who enjoy wanton killing of our kind because of some half-baked religious phobia."

Remus became amused at the boy's pronouncements, falling into the role of Devil's Advocate. "Some might say that our voluntary segregation stopped the killing."

"Eh, they killed way more than our own kind, and they went on killing even after we left the scene. But since then they've stopped the witch killing, and not because of us, but because they did it themselves. We just like to take credit for their own thought processes."

"But they're out there still killing each other. Killing witches was simply one excuse for them, always has been."

"And, yet, we're just as guilty as they are. We just like to pretend that our hands are clean because we let the Dementors do the job for us. We're oh so humane, what with their kisses- 'still alive, they are, but only on a purely biological level.' When that happens, it simply becomes a matter of quantity of life, and not quality."

"True," was the only thing Remus was able to manage.

"And look what they've done with the world in the past 300 years. And what have we done in return? They can kill more efficiently, but they've also done such grand things too. And all without magic. But our kind- we've become isolated and insular. We've bogged ourselves down with rules and bureaucracy, all in the name of safety."

"You remind me of a friend," Remus replied. "He's obsessed with Muggles too."

"I'm not obsessed; I'm simply stating a fact- we're stagnating."

"And why are we doing that?"

"Because we're afraid." Tollie answered. "Not of them. Because for all of their bombs, their silly belief systems, irrational fears, indoor plumbing- even the youngest of us has more potential power than a nuclear bomb. It's why we ship them off to schools that are heavily guarded; it's as much to protect the outside world while they're trying to not blow things up as it is to protect us from the Muggles." Tollie finally inhaled again. "We fear the unknown, but, more importantly, the uncontrollable."

"You mean ourselves?"

"Not at all. Now look" With this, the boy drained the last of his water glass, readying himself for another onslaught. It was the first time, Remus finally realized, that the boy was verbally expressing his own inner thoughts and ideas. "Now look," the boy repeated, "at how we treat other magical creatures. Those that we can't force into lesser classes, we denigrate, become stand-offish with, proclaim some of them as being 'unnatural' to the point where we pronounce them as 'monstrous.' Those that have the ability to hurt and maim us, we ostracize, shun them as though they were lepers. Those that can hurt us the worst are the ones that we hate and fear the most."

Remus became very still at the boy's speech. Tollie hadn't noticed the older man's reactions to the discourse at all and continued with his soundings. Sitting very still, Remus felt a slight panic rise, and fought the urge to stop the boy, and return quickly to the safety of 12 Grimauld Place. His neural pathways began to flood with adrenaline, but there he sat, listening and watching the boy's freckles darken and lighten in conjunction with his breathing. "There's only one problem with your classification," Remus replied. "It puts, say vampires, centaurs, and other magical races and species into the same category with those like Voldemort."

"I'm not- our society is."

"That's a bit unfair, don't you think?" Remus said. "Take vampires- I've met quite a few, and most of them were forced into that life. A couple were voluntarily, but the majority are all victims. They didn't choose that life, it was foisted upon them."

"But how do we treat them? Not as victims, but as enemies and demons. Now look at another segment of our disenfranchised- squibs. That most pathetic and harmless lot of our world. But instead of letting them live a normal life, we leave them stuck between our society and the Muggles'. They aren't allowed to join us- we refuse to accept them as full class citizens, but we can't just let them join the Muggles without our controlling them on some level, because they make us scared- scared of possible future squibs in our pure lines, and scared that if they ever decided to tell the world about our dirty little secret of our own existence, we'd be ruined."

Remus sat back and laughed pleasantly.

"What?"

"Nothing," Remus said. "Just remembering back when I was seventeen, and had the whole world figured out. My friends and I were out to take on the world too, and make it a better place."

"So what happened?"

"The killing started," Remus reminisced quietly. "Out of the four of us," he continued, "two are dead, and the third ended up being the ultimate betrayer of us all. I guess that I'm the last one still here. Still doing what I can to help. It was a bit strange- I always figured that I'd be the first one to die in the war."

"This stupid war," Tollie replied. "Half of my relatives were Death Eaters. Half the time, they act like they don't even know what they really want. More power? To rule the world? To just randomly kill Muggleborn witches and wizards? They're just bored Purebloods with too much time and money on their hands."

"That's true for some them, yes."

"It's funny. The only thing that my family has is its own bloodline. 50 generation Pureblood, and only five pounds in the family coffers." Tollie leaned back, and stared into his empty glass. "Perhaps I should become a Death Eater," he began again, his voice going low. "Just so I could become a spy, and then play the two sides off each other. I certainly wouldn't be bored then."

"That sounds like a rather lonely life, Tollie." Remus replied quietly.

"Eh, it'd still be a life."

"It wouldn't be much of a life." Remus somehow managed a smile, "and then who would entertain the Muggles for five whole pounds?"

"I'm sure the Muggle world would somehow survive the disappearance of a street performer."

Remus breathed deeply, looking at the boy with sad eyes. "You're much too young to be this cynical. I myself waited until the ripe age of 23 before I gave up on the world."

"It doesn't look like you've given up to me."

"I suppose that I've been through too much lately to have that luxury anymore."

"Fighting the good fight against the Dark Forces of Evil," Tollie said smugly.

"Yes."

"How noble."

"It's not nobility- it's simply the only thing that I know how to do," Remus said. "I just hope that your generation won't end up the same way mine has."

"Heh, a closeted cynic disguised as an optimist. Wishing that the Civil War won't carry over into the next generation, but realistic enough to know that it's already happened."

"It will end, Tollie."

"Of course, it will. All things end. Maybe we'll learn from our mistakes, learn to be a little more humble, to not erroneously place ourselves atop the magical food chain, and start becoming more mature wizards and witches capable of nothing caught in our own petty wars and vices. But I've three cousins all younger than myself with the Dark Mark already. But who knows? Maybe it will stop."

"I look forward to that day myself."

"But then you wouldn't know what to do with yourself."

Remus thought for a second, then smiled. "Perhaps I'll become a street performer."

Tollie grinned back. "That's the spirit."

With that, the check for their early morning dinner arrived. Tollie grabbed it, but Remus pulled it out of the boy's hands. "I've got it," he exclaimed, "the muggers didn't get my wizard money- anti theft spell." He pulled out two sickles, and transformed them into a ten pound note with spare change using an _exversium_ spell. "You can get the next one," he stated with calculated aloofness.

Tollie looked startled, then recovered himself. He frowned at the offer, and Remus watched as the boy debated with himself with facial expressions. "Fine," he hesitated, almost afraid to smile at the offer. "Next week? Same time?"

Remus nodded proudly at the boy. "I would like that. Just... stay safe, okay?"

He began to rise out of the booth when Tollie replied, "I will, just as long as you don't get killed with an errant killing curse yourself." Tollie watched as Remus immediately stilled halfway standing, and suddenly realized that the older man was grieving.

"I'll try not to," Remus finally replied, "but I can't promise that. 'Mortality be thy weakness, thy salvation.'" With that, he left the boy at the booth and walked out of the diner.

Tollie watched the man through the diner window. The teacher's entire body slumped through memories and traveled slowly down the street, disappearing into the last vestiges of the night crowd.

The boy finally got up out of his seat, and entered an empty bathroom. Locking the door, he peered at himself in the mirror, his eyes changing colors under the florescent lighting. He took off his secondhand coat, and put it onto a half bent peg. He pulled up his left sleeve, and took off the wand, flexing his arm and wrist. Then he slowly peeled up his right sleeve, wincing as little bolts of electricity etched white hot ripples of pain around a newly burnt Dark Mark.

He leaned back against the cement block wall, and slid to the ground in a daze. A few teardrops fell off his nose and onto his arm, sizzling where it dripped onto a shiny and bright Mark that stared unblinking back up at him, cursing him forever.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Remus entered the diner at half past 1 AM. A long, hot shower and shave plus excellent clothes laundering by Molly Weasley as a favor had left Remus much more respectable and sober than the last time he'd entered the establishment. Finding time on his hands, he surveyed the room, discerning it to be half full with poor college students and other unsavory characters. Tollie, however, was nowhere to be seen. He had just ordered a water, when Tollie drifted in, pulling golden stars out of thin air to the last remnants of his crowd.

The door closed behind him, and his strode over to the teacher triumphantly, "18 pounds 3!" He exclaimed, slamming a pile of cash onto the table, coins flying every which way. He plopped down onto the vinyl seat, and looked at the older man. "Why Professor Lupin, I do believe that you are almost respectable looking. And what's this? An ironed shirt! There's a woman in your life somewhere."

Remus laughed at the boy's antics. "Merely an old friend. Though with seven children, she's no mere mortal."

"I could imagine." Tollie grinned, taking a soda from their previous waitress.

"So, how have you been this week?"

"Living. I do a show twice a week now. Oughta give it up for three card Monte- now that's a money maker."

"I am surprised that the Ministry hasn't picked you up yet and shipped you off to Azkaban."

Tollie stiffened at the prison's name, but quickly regained his cool. "Shield charm. As long as you can't see me physically performing magic, I'm invisible to their sensors. There are so many holes in the Ministry that it's no wonder that it took them two years to catch on that Voldemort was back."

"I suppose you're right," Remus frowned. "Fudge has become ineffective in dealing with Voldemort's return."

"It's much simpler to pretend that he doesn't exist; sleep comes much easier that way." Tollie replied. The two grew quiet as they looked over their menus, neither unsure as to how to resume their conversation.

"So... about this shield charm," Remus finally asked.

"Well, we all have secrets, and I won't tell you all of mine, but I've had it since I was 8. My parents thought that it was prudent that I should practice during the summer than just during school. And they were right. I have much more control than most people my age. It's not because I'm better, but it's because I didn't waste three months out of the year not doing anything, and then have to relearn everything from the previous year all over again."

"I know that some American schools are initiating year-round schedules. Haven't heard any results yet, though."

"So you won't turn me into the Dementors?" Tollie asked only half joking.

"Like you said, we all have our secrets, Tollie. My friends broke so many rules at Hogwarts that I was made Prefect just to try to control them."

Tollie laughed, "Did it work?"

"No, it just made them worse," Remus laughed back.

"Sounds like my kind of friends."

"We were the absolute worst. Two of them were best friends, completely inseparable: Super Ego and Extreme Ego. They were absolutely uncontrollable- out to cause as much mischief as humanly possible. I was their conscience. I guess that when they'd go too far, they always knew that I would be the one to stop them, or at least pick up the pieces afterwards. They were truly insufferable prigs."

"So what happened?"

"Well, we were recruited about 15 years ago. Straight out of Hogwarts, no less. Even I, for all of my faults. But it changed us. We grew too old much too fast. One got married almost immediately and started a family. The most inconsiderate of the four of us turned into a father. Then he got murdered along with his wife. This was at the height of the Death Eaters, you see. We'd lost 28 in less than a month, and not just members, but entire families were being wiped out- parents, children, siblings. Anyone and everyone was a target. But the four of us were still on the last vestiges of our teenage immortality, so we got even more reckless. And we paid for it. Every single one. And you were right earlier- this war is carrying into the next generation."

Tollie looked at his melancholic friend, then began to reply. "I'd heard about Voldemort's return through my family. I didn't want to believe it. They were so happy about it," he lowered his eyes, unable to look at the teacher. "I was too."

"But not now?"

"I've seen too much of the world to believe in anything anymore. But I was raised a Pureblood, and I was only 15 when he came back."

"I understand."

"You do?"

"Oh, yes. My two best friends were both Purebloods, both from the great family lines. I think that was why they were so close- one of them fought his heritage up until the day he died, and the other always helped him when it got too bad. It's much easier to believe in a cause when you have family support, and he only had the four of us. In the end, he ran away from his home, and lived with the other's family. I think it was the happiest days of his life."

"I think that I would have liked him."

"Probably, maybe when he was older. You know, he once charmed a motorcycle into flying? It's still around somewhere."

Tollie laughed, "Thanks for the tip."

"Now that will get you caught by the Ministry."

"Not if I don't actually use it."

"Now that particular philosophy," Remus replied quite seriously, mopping a water stain on their table, "has already been tried, and it ended up with seven Muggles watching an Anglia fly in the middle of the afternoon."

"True. Temptation is much harder when access is easier."

"You are in a good mood today. No more diatribes against the wizarding world?"

"I made 18 and 3 today; always a good return."

"Yes, I know- 'it's a living.'"

"Well, I like your stories. I wish that I could have been part of it."

"No, you don't." Remus countered, his voice mellowing. "You would have been much too cerebral for us. We'd have destroyed you."

"Now that I can't see."

"All you can see is fifteen years of rose colored memories and my own maturing. We were brutes- part of the Popular Crowd- the inner circle of jocks, well connected brains, slackers, hanger ons, and near delinquents. You would have been bored with our antics in no time. Nights running wild, tricks played on professors and Slytherins, and extreme persecution on anyone we wanted. We were true barbaric mongrels then."

"I've never been a child."

"You're still a puppy," Remus retorted, watching the boy flit through the usual sundry extreme emotions play out on his over expressive face until he finally smiled softly.

"It's odd." He said after a bit. " I generally detest being condescended, but you're different. Quiet, I suppose."

"I am a teacher. I've met all kinds of children, and each one of them needed to be dealt with individually."

"I bet you're a great teacher."

"Well, I'm not currently employed at the moment."

"What happened?" Tollie grinned mischievously. "Snogged a student?"

"Don't be insulting." Remus snapped back.

"Sorry."

"I have... well, let's just say that a few parents objected to my particularly rare bloodline. And, so in order to keep the peace, I quit."

"Just like that?"

"I am still in contact with a few of my old students. Family of old friends, you might say."

"Let me guess," Tollie leaned forward, and put his hands on the table. "The next generation of noble soldiers for the grand cause of this most honorable war."

"I was wondering when your penchant for cynicism was going to erupt." Remus stated,

"But I am right. And you know it. Because you can't look me in the eye and tell me otherwise. You haven't it in you. You might be able to lie and evade about certain things- little things like why you really quit your job, but fundamental truths? You're incapable of such behavior.

"And children wanting to 'fight the good fight' will always want to be one of those truths. You try to stop them, protect their youth, their innocence for just one more day, but you can't. Not forever. Especially now. They always want play grown up games like love and war and death. That's why we try to deter them from their inevitable maturing, but they're already on that path of righteousness. It happened to your generation, and it's already happening to mine. We just happen to be younger."

"I see that you include yourself now."

"I can no longer escape this war anymore than you can."

"But you're only seventeen."

Tollie stopped the conversation, just sitting there, his back slumped against the booth. He stared off into a glop of catsup coagulating next to his soggy French fries. "One of my younger cousins was picked up an auror Wednesday. She's in Azkaban now."

"That's not possible!"

The boy looked back up at the teacher, his eyes dead at the sight. "I watched her being taken-Coward, that I am. I just stood there and watched as they caught her and her parents. I was hidden in one of their secret rooms, and had a clear view of the scene. They did nothing to alert the aurors of my presence. Found out two days ago that they got eight years and she got three. Not that the little git didn't deserve it." Tollie threw in offhandedly.

"But the Ministry wouldn't do that to a mere child."

"Wouldn't they?" was the only response. Remus seethed at the question, trying to deny the answer, but only sat there, impotent and mute until the boy answered his own question. "Fudge has bungled this whole war from the beginning, and now he's making up for lost time. This is another fundamental truth, Professor Lupin, one that you can't even lie about to yourself let alone the rest of the world. Wouldn't even be the first time that they've declared unofficial Martial Law on the innocents and not-so-innocents."

"But how do you know of all of this?"

"I grew up in a hardcore Pureblood family. This whole war is much too complex and older than just not admitting so-called Mudbloods into the Wizarding Schools. Voldemort's Pureblood fetish is simply the newest rallying sigil. And the Ministry, in its infinite stupidity, refuse to look beyond him. The truth is that they like him- they like his easily digestible evil power trips and inane solutions to fix the wizarding world. As long as he's around, they've got a scapegoat and the ability to ignore him at will."

"I- I'll see what I can do for your cousin." Remus responded after the diatribe left the boy breathing hard and looking slightly cracked.

At that, the boy focused back on the older man, his sudden gallows smile surprising the teacher "An unemployed teacher with no prospects and nothing better to do than to meet a two-bit magician at two in the morning?"

"You might have relatives, but I have friends," Remus replied defiantly.

Tollie's earlier somber mood had evaporated almost instantly, his confident attitude bricked firmly back in place. "Ah, yes. I forgot- the Four Compadres, two of whom are dead, and one, in all likelihood, is now probably batting for the other team now."

"How-?"

"'Ultimate betrayer' is a bit unambiguous." Tollie's smile grew almost carnivorous, his eyes turning pure black. "I'll bet that I can even venture a guess as who it is- can I have three chances?"

"Stop it." Remus ordered.

"I'm sorry." The boy's face changed immediately- his eyes falling through the color spectrum to a less savage color. "Nothing spreads like good gossip at a Deatheaters' potluck," Tollie explained, his voice completely contrite.

Remus felt his own rare temper flare lessening much too slow for his own liking. "You know too much about these matters, Tollie."

"If it helps, Pettigrew's detested by pretty much everyone. Especially by the Malfoys," the boy explained

"Is this why you're out here- in London?" Remus asked. "Because of what you know?"

"No, I just like to entertain Muggles" The boy said. "Nothing's better than watching a fifty year old CPA get blown away by second year magic."

Remus's last vestige of anger dissolved completely, leaving the man in a myriad of mostly optimistic emotions. "I might be a closet cynic, but you're a closet romantic." He stated.

"No, that's just part of the charm of being a cynic. Otherwise, I'd just be a pessimist, and nothing kills a party like a true pessimist."

"Tollie?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you here?"

"Because I'm hungry?"

"That's not what I mean."

"Well, it's not for the actual taste of this so-called food."

"Tollie, you're much too young for being here with me at this time of night, and much too old for elementary evasion tactics. If you need help-"

"Hey, look: the check's here." The boy replied, gladly picking up the tab from their now regular waitress. "Guess they want to kick us out. Same time next week?"

"Tollie-" Remus started, then changed his mind. "No, not next week." The boy started, taken aback by the rejection. "I have a prior engagement," Remus added weakly.

"At 330 AM?"

Remus only grinned tactfully "You have your secrets, and I have mine. But I promise that I will be back in two weeks, barring any problems. And, Tollie, if you have any problems of your own, go immediately to Hogwarts. Tell them that you know me."

Tollie slid back into annoyance, his eyes blazing green, then went to pay the check. He had calmed down by the time he had returned to the table, and the two walked comfortably silent outside before parting.

Remus strolled back to his alley. It still oozed smells of vomit and cigarette smoke, but it was empty at that time of day. He entered it from the street, then heard something behind him. Turning around, he saw two identical twin girls staring at him with huge violet eyes. Remus felt his hackles rise as the girls sauntered towards him. He grabbed for his wand. "We know that you're visiting our cousin." The left one reported, "you're to leave him alone," the right one followed.

Remus was taken back at the sight. "Shouldn't you two be in bed?" He asked dumbly.

"You are not to see Tollie again." The left one reiterated, this time both girls withdrew their matching wands in a way that was invisible from the naked eye, but wholly useable from their new position.

"I'm not generally in the mood to follow the advice of eight year olds." Remus replied sardonically. Studying the two girls' wand movements, he tried to place their training.

"We're nine and a half!" The right one corrected.

"I see that you have your cousin's sense of humor." He replied patiently, unsure if he should feel threatened or amused. The two began to spread apart, their wands suddenly held in a predatory fashion. "_Expelliarmus!"_ He diswanded the girl on the right; her wand flying twenty feet through the air. She yelped at the loss, and chased after it as the left one yelled and raised her own wand.

Remus turned toward her just as she yelled "_Crucio!"_ The curse slammed into him just as he apparated out of the alley.


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Reapparating three feet above the ground, Remus dropped in a free fall onto cold, dewy grass. His nerves were lit with erratic electrical impulses shooting bolts of pain up and down his nervous system causing spasms and muscle cramping to swim randomly throughout his body. Swimming in and out of consciousness, he felt a Mobilicorpus spell placed upon him, and was jostled inside a dark house. "Remus!" a voice tinned around his brain before he could understand the word. He bumped and slammed into a few well-placed walls and doors under the spell until he finally fell disgracefully onto a couch. His eyes started to roll up under his lids, then contracted onto the face of Severus Snape. "— alone–... Dumb– way..." His hearing snapped on and off until intense exhaustion overcame him, and he let his eyelids close. He slid further and further away until his cheek bloomed in ripples of pain that traveled around his head and met again on the back of his head.

The next thing he knew, he was on a bed; three blobby faces smeared throughout his eyesight until they decided to stay in mostly one place. "You gave us quite a scare, Remus." Dumbledore's voice echoed from far away, but still managed to calm the man. "Especially Severus," Dumbledore added, his eyes twinkling. Remus thought the other man almost blushed.

"Wha?"

"We were hoping that you could tell us," Albus answered. "Severus said that you kept saying 'nine and a half" a few times, but nothing besides that. We do know that you were hit with a Crucio curse, but it was definitely done by an amateur."

"No," he croaked out. "Wha-?"

"Ah!" Dumbledore exclaimed. "It has been exactly one and a half weeks since you apparated onto the lawn of 12 Grimauld Place." The world jolted into sickening focus for Remus. He wrenched himself up into a halfway sitting position until a hand snaked out of nowhere and pushed him back down with more force than necessary. "It's quite all right, Remus. Everything has been taken care of and there were not any problems regarding last Saturday's full moon. You are safe here at Black Manor, and are able to remain here until you wish to leave."

"No," Remus finally found his vocal cords. "They're recruiting children."

"What?" the formerly quiet Madame Pomfrey gasped.

"'Nine and a half' was the age of my attackers."

"I warned you not to annoy any more Slytherins," Snape stated blandly.

"It ISN'T funny, Snape." Remus pushed aside the hand and sat up. "I have to go." He stated.

"Go where?" Dumbledore asked.

"To save him." Lupin dodged another hand, and managed to sway onto his feet. He had just managed to steady himself when he promptly fell back onto the bed.

"I can see that you've managed to pick up Potter's rather bad habits." Severus commented as another mysterious pair of hands straightened the other man back onto the bed properly.

"Who do you need to save, Remus?" Albus asked once the bodily machinations were over.

"Tollie." Remus exhaled.

"Tollie?" Snape hissed. "Have you seen him? No, don't tell me. Headmaster, I need to talk to Lupin alone." Pomfrey started to argue back, but was silenced by the older man. Dumbledore assented, and escorted Madame Pomfrey from the room. "Just leave Tollie alone," Severus ordered Remus once they were alone.

"That's what the twins told me."

"Twins?" Severus asked. "Must be the Castle Twins. Molly Weasley's second cousins once removed. They were your attackers? Last I saw them, they were still wearing matching pinafores and playing with enchanted Barbie dolls."

"Yes, well, they've somehow learned unforgivable curses since then."

"I always knew that they would be up to no good."

"Prime Slytherin candidates then. I'm sure that you'll especially indulge them when they get into Hogwarts more than usual after this stunt."

For once, Snape ignored an obvious verbal challenge, opting for a different topic. "So you and Tollie, eh? I would never have imagined it personally, but now that I've thought about it, it makes sense. Only you could find a clone of Sirius Black so quickly."

"He's not Sirius." Remus asserted, his temper rising.

"A lot closer than you think. He's been missing for six months now. Parents would pay a fortune to get him back. If they had a fortune, that is."

"He is a good kid for the most part."

"Yes, I presume that is the reason why they want to kill him."

"What?"

"So the Castle Twins are his benefactors," Severus stated, skirting onto a new subject, trying to ambush Remus with a well-defined attack. "Never have guessed it. Has he mentioned anyone else?"

"Severus, why would his parents want to kill him?"

"Because he knows too many secrets."

"We all have secrets," Remus echoed.

"Now that is Tollie."

"Answer me," Remus demanded. "Why do they want him dead?"

Snape finally grew fatigued by the ineffective banter, and resigned himself to the fact that Remus was in no condition to argue properly. "It's not for me to say, Remus. I am the last person to answer that particular question. Just be thankful that all you got was a half powered Crucio out of the deal. Now, it's very important- has he mentioned anyone else?"

Remus looked down at his hands, pondering the question, then finally answered "He said that he saw a cousin of his dragged off to Azkaban and sentenced to three years."

"Sounds like the Blakewells. That boy definitely knows how to pick unlikely accomplices when he ran away."

Remus looked back at what was probably his oldest living friend. "I've got to help him, Severus."

"You can't. Tollie goes beyond Voldemort. He knows too many Death Eaters and their sympathizers. Too many wizards and witches who think that Voldemort's an idiot, but believe in his fascist ideals. If Tollie were to resurface now, he'd be dead in a week."

"I can take him to Grimauld." Remus stated, almost pleading.

"Oh, yes." Snape answered. "Because that worked so splendidly the last time."

"He's only seventeen." Remus countered, sounding more and more desperate.

"He's one of the oldest."

"So they are recruiting children."

"As are we; just as we had been."

"I still have to try."

Snape shook his head sadly, his hair shuddering lankly. "Potter is definitely a bad influence. And you used to be the smart one too, Remus. My advice to you is let him remain hidden underground. And to break all contact with him immediately."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because he needs someone- he's lonely."

"No, you're lonely." Snape stated. "Tollie can take care of himself. You, however, cannot."

"I have to go." Remus stated defiantly, sliding himself up.

"Where?"

Remus finally found the ability to grin at the other man. "You asked not to be told."

"You are going to get him killed." Severus reiterated, slightly tapping Remus just enough to make the other man lose his balance.

Remus slammed back onto the bed, slumping at his own body's inability to remain vertical for any length of time.

Once he realized that Remus was no longer going to fight back, Severus lost his feigned hostility. "How do you feel?"

"Like I did right after the first time." Remus replied distantly. He closed his eyes and laid back down on the bed, already half asleep. Snape said a few more things, but the sound only drowned in his ears, causing him to finally fall asleep.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter 4

The lightshow had already begun by the time Remus tumbled out of the subway staircase. The crowd was slightly smaller than the one two weeks ago, the novelty of his show apparently wearing off on the locals. Remus positioned himself under a striped awning, watching the boy try to perform experimental tricks for the crowd- even the ones that majestically failed managed to entertain the crowd, but the crowd was definitely smaller, more dispersed. But despite the failed attempts at "new" magic and the thin crowd, Tollie only grinned that much harder as a tree rained half of its leaves down in a torrential windfall instead of simply turning translucent.

The teenage pulled a few easy tricks- ones that would impress the crowd, but were still elementary level magic, and quickly collected his earnings. Remus pushed his way through the dispersing spectators casually, trying to ignore lingering stiffness and the occasional spike of pain. He forced a small grin, and tried to act nonchalant once Tollie noticed him.

The teenager didn't buy the act for a minute. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Remus replied. "Trust me, I've looked a lot worse."

Tollie's eyes narrowed at the teacher. "What happened?"

"Professional risk encumbered with the job."

"You don't have a job."

"Fine, acceptable risk concerning my hobby." Remus began walking down the street, unconsciously heading to the diner.

"Don't patronize me."

"All right- let's just say that you have friends that are not about breaking a few rules to protect you. I have also been advised to stay away from you by several others."

"Who have you been talking to?"

"A couple of your cousins."

"That doesn't narrow it down, Professor Lupin."

"Nine-and-a-half year old twin girls with violet eyes."

"Abby and Aggy," Tollie sighed. "Those little twerps. I keep telling them to stop helping me. They're going to get themselves killed, but they've always been pretty ruthless."

""Yes, they have quite a punch to their curses. You would think that an ex-DADA teacher could take out two pre-Hogwarts squeakers."

"THEY did this to you?"

"Well, in my defense, one doesn't ordinarily expect a _Crucio_ curse from pre-teens."

"Perks of having Death Eaters as parents. Dark Arts training is generally the first magic you're taught as a kid."

Remus grew quiet as they entered the diner. He waited until they were seated in a quiet part of the room, and had ordered their usual hamburgers before talking again. "I did find out that they were trying to protect you from your parents."

"Who told you that!"

"Severus Snape."

Tollie leaned forward over the table, whispering loudly. "You told Snape that you knew where I was? How could you do that? Are you insane? He's part of the Inner Circle!"

"It's okay, Tollie" Remus replied, trying to soothe the now nervous boy. "Severus- Severus is an old friend."

"Snape is nobody's friend!" Tollie yelled back. Inhibited by his outburst, he sat there for a few seconds, looking at everything but the older man. "He was one of the very first Death Eaters, Professor Lupin." He started again, his fingers rubbing granules of salt into the linoleum table top. "He's done more for Voldemort than even the Bellatrices. You have no idea what he's capable of."

"Snape was the one who found me after your cousins attacked me. He's not- he's not what you think he is; he's also not the same man he was fifteen years ago. And no, I didn't tell him where you are. In fact, he specifically asked to not be told, and he was the other person who told me to stay away from you."

"He's using you to get to me," Tollie hissed, his eyes blazing.

"That's not going to happen, Tollie. Trust me."

Tollie stood up again, grim determination emanating from him. "I have to leave London."

"Why?"

"Maybe Manchester or Liverpool. Ireland- no, I'd stick out even more there..." The teenager stood up, nearly tipping his chair over in the process

"Tollie!" The older man grabbed the boy's wrists, feeling the wand under the thin shirt, and pulled him back down into the chair. "Look at me- why do you have to go?" Tollie only looked down at the table- the normally cocky seventeen year old with all of the answers breaking down into an insecure, young boy. His eyes turned a watery blue, and the freckles faded out completely. "Tollie, you don't have to go. But I need to know why you're so scared." Remus said. Instantly, the lights started to dim slowly enough to not warrant much comment, but it left the two in near darkness in their own corner.

"Remus, everyone's got secrets- the first lesson I ever learned growing up," Tollie began, the tone of his voice rising as the level lowered. Remus watched in silence as the boy began to revert to a younger age. "Mine are just much worser than everyone else's. My entire family are pureblood- cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents, me." As he talked, he uncuffed his white shirt sleeve, and turned the wrist over so that the forearm faced up. He looked down at the bit of arm that stuck out of the sleeve, then pushed it up. "I've had this since I was fifteen." The Dark Mark exposed to the teacher, he felt starkly vulnerable. "Sort of a graduation present for my parents." Tollie chuckled hoarsely. "You have to understand something- most of the Death Eaters are in their thirties and forties and fifties now. They've grown up, had families- children, pets, regular jobs throughout the Wizarding world. Regular Pureblood relations and friends doing regular Wizarding things. When Voldemort disappeared, most went underground. The few that were caught were sent away to Azkaban, but most didn't. And they all kept in touch. Family, you see- thicker than butterbeer. So they had children and waited to see when the next leader would come- there's always a new one. I'm one of the oldest children, but most are younger than me. And we were all brainwashed- we were special, 'Pureblood,' worthy of magic and whatever else they deem to make us superior to everyone else. If Voldemort returned, we were trained as his new soldiers. If someone else started a new Pureblood faction, we were ready to carry onward. There are dozens of us- cousins of mine, mostly. A regular inbred Pureblood army of children all taught that we would be ready when the time came for a new rising, and I know every single one. It's the same for every generation, I guess."

Lupin was flabbergasted. Tollie's confession flowing through him like ice. "Tollie," he finally managed. "It's not your fault." He somehow said without stammering.

"I was young and stupid- not even sixteen when I got it. A friend of mine- Justinian Corrigan- was the first to break away from our group. He came to me one night, and I immediately turned him over to his parents. It's what got me the Mark- my reward, so to speak. I was deemed 'worthy' to receive it at such a young age. A week later, I went on my first raid. And I couldn't take it. I left the group after it was over, didn't even go home that night. I just started to run and didn't stop.

"About a week later, the Blakewells tracked me down somewhere in Wales, I'm not sure where. They took me to an empty apartment, and I thought I was dead. I didn't care at that point. But then they started giving me lessons about Muggles- I'd never had classes on Muggles before. Gave me about fifty pounds, then left that night. I saw them a few times after that- traveled to their house- I was there when they got picked up. I was hiding in their secret room where their elves slept. It's funny- I'd heard rumors that they were getting deeper and deeper into the Inner Circle at the same time that they were hiding me. Sometimes I wonder if they only did it so not to be accused of helping me- sacrificing the rest of the world just to make sure I didn't starve or start doing drugs. I just don't know anymore. As to Abby and Aggy- they just think that this is a game. Nine-and-a-half year old halfwits playing games, and no matter what I tell them, they always hunt me down." He finally inhaled. "The truth is, Professor, is that I'm a coward and a monster."

"Tollie- you're not a coward or a monster."

"No," Tollie smiled, his extreme emotional state scudding about on his face. "Monsters generally don't enjoy being branded. When I got the Mark- it was the happiest day of my life. The pain- one would think that they wouldn't enjoy it. It went on forever, and then it was over, and I wanted more. Sometimes it flares up- it did earlier with the leaf trick. I don't think that I could turn down the burning again if given a chance."

"It's probably something that you'll have to live with for the rest of your life. It won't be easy, but it doesn't make you a monster."

"What would you know about it?" Tollie asked, changing from melancholy to anger.

Remus examined the boy, then got up and walked away, casually dropping ten pounds by the untouched food. Tollie, taken aback, quickly followed the man, afraid of what would happen if the older man left without saying another word. The two wandered the restaurant until Remus pushed his way into the restroom.

As soon as both were inside the room, Remus turned around and magically locked the door.

"What are you doing?" Tollie asked, his voice cracking. Remus, still silent, took off his jacket and hung it from a bent hook on the door. His tie soon followed the coat. "Remus- please" Tollie's vision greyed as the man unbuttoned his shirt, and hung it atop the other clothes.

"Exactly four people have seen me like this," Remus began softly, his voice echoing off chipped tile. Breathing in deeply, his too-thin chest began to expand under harsh florescent light. Deep, purple scars crisscrossed his ribs and belly with little puncture wounds spotting the long mauled flesh that extended below the top of his pants. "I was four when I was- attacked. It was night. I can't remember why I was outside, but I was found the next day by two joggers along a trail. I was quickly rushed to the hospital: four transfusions and 500 stitches just to keep me alive at that point. Then my parents were found and brought in before they started the rabies treatment. One of the reasons why so few people know about my condition was precisely because I'd been treated in a Muggle hospital, but it left me scarred for life. Werewolf bites generally disappear with proper treatment, but the stitches left their own mark and also kept the wounds from healing completely.

"Not even my friends ever saw the scars, even after they found out. A flash here, a bare arm there; that was enough for them. They never asked to see, and I never offered. But to answer your question, Tollie, I do know that thin between agony and ecstasy, simply because I have been your monster for over thirty years now."

The room grew quiet despite the natural acoustics until Tollie turned away from Remus, staring at an extremely interesting paper towel dispenser, waiting as the teacher redressed himself in acute privacy. "I was right, Professor Lupin, we all have secrets. Thank you."

Once the shirt, tie, and jacket were fastidiously put back on, Remus touched the boy on the shoulder to let him know that he was done. "It will be hard to live with your past, and there's a good chance that the Mark will never come off. But you can survive, and maybe even have a normal life. I can't promise you that, but it is possible as long as you have hope. Now, dry your eyes and follow me." A sudden glint came into Remus's eyes as he asked: "Do you know how to apparate?" The boy nodded, looking at the door. "Good, I want to take you someplace where you can be safe." With that, the two of them disappeared out of the still locked bathroom.


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter 5

It had once been a nice, suburban neighborhood full of rosy cheeked, Muggle children, busy housewives who cooked full course meals from scratch, and attentive husbands that drove moderately priced cars to their 9-5 jobs. But over the past two years, the once quiet street began to change. A general malaise overcame its inhabitants slowly. Relationships and communities started to erode over the past six months, as a somber void began to suck the cheery air out of the homes, leaving the block discontented with its lot in life. As these things are wont to do, one family finally moved out, leaving an empty house in their wake. This was soon followed by another and another until the entire block was a sea of For Sale signs while perspective buyers quickly crossed the entire vicinity from their potentialities.

At three A.M., two people appeared out of delicate air on a dewy sidewalk. The older man seemed exhausted but stood there, completely at ease in the overly familiar night. He watched as the adolescent groped out against darkness, one hand fighting the blinding night, the other arm scrunched against his waist, making him look particularly young. His freckles were harsh against his face- tiny bruises that dilated at random. His eye color was no longer under his control and kaleidoscoped into a morass of color beneath the thin, milky moon.

"Tollie," Remus said, taking out a folded scrap of paper from his pocket. "I want you to read this."

The boy reached out and took the paper, "what is it?" he asked, peering at the folded sheet. "_Lumos"_ he ordered, and his left shirt sleeve began to glow softly.

"A sanctuary, if you desire it," Remus replied before the boy had a chance to expose the hidden writing.

"I don't-"

Remus's stomach roiled, "Tollie, I can provide a safe haven for you, but you have to do it yourself. I am unable to do it for you." The boy looked back down at the note, this time more solemnly, and opened it. The letters on the paper were thin, reedy, but the hidden light caused the ink to glow black until they were readable. Immediately, a tiny house appeared between two houses. The miniature building began to swell vertically, a thin tower in the sky. After it finished growing up, the house started to flush out horizontally, pushing its neighbors away.

The boy grew wide eyed at the scene, but remained silent as he was led into the house. It was spartan inside. Few furnishings decorated the rooms, filling a mere fraction of empty space. As they entered the parlor, Tollie found a large, wooden box magically and physically fastened to the wall. Occasionally, a muffled thump would emanate lowly from inside the box. "Just ignore it, you'll get used to it in time," Remus explained, his voice conveying more malice, subtle though it be, than Tollie had ever heard from the man. "Go on, look around. I'll get dinner started."

"But we just ate." Tollie replied, his stomach churning in hunger.

"Then I'll make us a nightcap." Remus rejoined, leading him into the kitchen. "Maybe some warm milk."

The boy stayed there in the room, trying to be cordial to his new benefactor as Remus put a kettle on to boil until the urge to explore finally overcame him.

New rooms revealed barren rectangles with maybe a chair or a painting as its sole inhabitant soaking up barren moonlight. Every so often, more plywood shaped into half boxes, squares, and rectangles were fastened against the walls.

Circuiting through the first floor, he finally found a grand staircase, and traveled up to the second floor. The silence overbearing as his dirty sneakers squeaked on tile and wood as the staircase dumped him into a large hallway. Several doorways ran along each side of the passage until it finally ended with an oval window with a family crest stained into the glass. Randomly opening a door, Tollie found a cenotaph for a young man. The room, thoroughly unconcerned by the living, exuded dust and pent up despondency. The door was shut quickly, and Tollie quickly went to the next one. He was presented with a spare bedroom that an unlived in look but for the barest hint of Professor Lupin's temperament. A half open closet revealing exactly one spare set of shabby robes and a pair of muddy shoes and a small stack of books arranged neatly upon a small table were all that illustrated the room's degree of habitation.

Another door shut, another opened, only this one revealed a large pair of eyes that stared straight into his soul and found it deficient. A silver beak abruptly appeared beneath those severe eyes and charged straight for him until the door somehow managed to slam against the beast.

The rest of the floor revealed bedrooms in various states of occupancy until the last room at the far end of the hallway by the window remained. He grabbed the blunted silver handle slowly and pushed forward. A cold wind blasted his face; the magically lit candles inside the room never wavered.

"Hello, Tollivan," a refined voice slithered from the dimmest part of the room.

Tollie started a second, then frowned at the long forgotten tone. "Snape…" he hissed in response.

"I knew that Remus would do it. He is simply unable to help himself."

"Do what?"

"Try to save himself by trying to saving others."

Tollie frowned at the teacher's assertion, "Professor Lupin is a good human."

"Oh, yes, for 353 nights out of the year."

Tollie flexed his arm a bit, and the candles guttered. They whispered there in the dark for a second, then flared up, brighter than before, casting Professor Snape in glittery shadows. "I see that I'm not the only lost soul that he's brought here. Should we compare Marks? See whose is darker?"

Severus stood there in a corner, his body fully rigid against the wall, poised and far too still. "Ah, Andrill, you will always be a child playing grown up games."

"At least I have an excuse for my Mark. But I know exactly what you have done in the past to deserve yours. I wonder if Professor Lupin knows about April 30, 1979."

"Most likely not, and you certainly won't be the one to tell him. You respect him far too much to resort to such petty vulgarity."

"Everyone's got secrets, Snape."

"And the sad part is that you don't even know half the ones concerning Lupin. You only see a sad, pathetic shell of a man worn down by too much pain and death. You are incapable of comprehending his true nature."

"That's where you're wrong, Snape." Tollie smirked, his entire body slouching into that of an arrogant teenager. "Professor Lupin trusts me far more than you could ever imagine, but he also has the odd notion of trusting you as well. Otherwise, I would have blasted you on sight." Tollie's grin grew almost savage. "I trust him enough to not kill you."

"Which only goes to show how pathetic he is," Snape replied, "he is only fond of you because you remind him of Sirius Black."

Tollie's stance went from slacker to predator immediately. "Now I know that you are unable of understanding Professor Lupin. You might be an old friend of his, but you will never truly value his gifts and friendship. You simply insult him, because, in the end, he is a better human being than you will ever be capable of, and you know it."

A quiet knock on the door behind them disrupted Snape's response. Tollie instantly lost his cheeky impudence, and answered the door nervously. Remus stood outside, holding a tray with two cups on it. "I'm sorry, Severus." he explained, looking down at the tray. "I brought some hot cocoa for Tollie and myself. I didn't realize that you were still up, otherwise I would have made you some too." His voice remained quiet as he tried to ignore the heated looks that the two gave each other. "Why don't you come with me, Tollie, and I can show you your room. I'm sorry about this, I should have told both of you about the current situation." He led the boy back out into the hall, and entered a room two doors down, where the dead room lie. "I'm sorry about the room, Tollie, but this is the only room that is presently unclaimed. It was Sirius's brother's room, but he won't need it now."

Tollie surveyed the grey colored room, and sat on the dusty bed, hot chocolate in hand. "I'm sorry about fighting with Snape."

"I admit that it's not hard to do, but Professor Snape is in a rather difficult position at the moment, and it leaves him, well, cranky."

Tollie snorted marshmallows up his nose. "That's an understatement, Professor," he replied once his sinuses finally drained. "He must have been in a 'rather difficult position' his entire life."

Remus acquiesced the joke, finishing his own drink in one gulp. "Why don't you get some sleep? It's late, and I'm much too old for these late nights anymore."

"Fine, Professor," Tollie yawned and stretched out on the bed, his eyes slightly watering from tiredness. "I would like to know one thing, though. Snape said that the only reason why I'm here is because of Sirius Black."

"Well, considering that it's Sirius's house, then yes, I suppose he's right in that sense."

"No, no, I mean, he said that I was a lot like him, and that was the only reason why you brought me here."

"Well, you do share some of his traits," Remus answered after a bit. "A penchant for aloofness, mischief, tremendous loyalty, extreme cockiness, and fighting with Professor Snape on a regular basis. But you are very different. You're able to think things through, for one thing. Sirius was never one for details- always action, never stopping to consider the consequences or even planning- that was where James came in, you see. But he also spent twelve years in Azkaban, and it left him: a child. He never mentally or emotionally grew out of being twenty-one. Everything was a grand adventure with him, especially after he escaped."

"I'm sorry, Professor."

"It'll be okay, Tollie. War is always full of victims. It's only a question of degree. Now, get some sleep. I really need some sleep myself."

Tollie yawned dramatically as he snuggled deeper onto the blankets, kicking off his shoes and socks. Remus blew out the candles, and closed the door on the newest resident of Black Manor.

Turning around, he found the other resident of the house standing beside him. "You, Severus, should have left things well enough alone," he stated a bit testily. "Tollie is going to stay here for as long as he needs to, and that's that."

"Very well," Severus replied, "as you are now the sole owner of Black Manor, I will respect your decision. Just don't let the boy out of your sight." With that, Snape glided back to his room at the end of the hall


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter 6

June at 12 Grimauld Place passed languidly. Tollie and Remus spent most of the time in the house trying to keep entertained against the slow passage of time. As not quite ordered by Dumbledore, Snape stayed with them for extended lengths of time, usually long enough for him to engage in a raging argument with one or the other, but always returning later without the slightest acknowledgment of previous quarrels. Occasionally, odd people would show up for Order meetings or just to visit Remus. Tollie often hid up in his room during such occasions when the house was full of Aurors, Spies, and Order members, trying to remain as innocuous as possible. But for the most part, the house lingered in relative quietude. Tollie never left the property alone, although he spent a few hours almost everyday practicing magic tricks in the backyard, gaining a bit of sun and letting Buckbeak have some time out of his own cell.

The wilds of London called the restless teenager nightly. He fought the urge to just escape as he watched the stars glitter against dewy summer sky. He went twice that June with Remus to several of his old haunts- ever lasting parties, bars, music haunts, meeting old, respectable friends who happened to live on the street. Tollie was careful enough to remain inconspicuous, but still able to reclaim a bit of his long lost independence. He loved showing the older man the sights of inner London's beauty. Remus just ended up with raging headaches until they returned to the diner for their early morning dinner ritual. The food grew worse with each visit, they agreed whole-heartedly, but back they went each time without the slight provocation or comment. Over soggy fries and dried out hamburgers, Remus often told the younger man old Marauder tales, carefully omitting those grand adventures featuring Severus as a supporting character.

Back at Grimauld, Tollie and Severus entertained each other by slinging well-honed verbal taunts and insults. Remus intervened once, then quickly realized that the two only got along through their bickering. They fought about anything and everything- any topic was fair game to the two ex-Deatheaters. It finally dawned on Remus that they fought because they shared too close of a past not to do so.

As June finally began to fritter into July, the pace around Black Manor began to pick up. The new school year loomed closer: Severus became busy with preparing class presentations and assignments, and other Order members with children began to spend less and less time at the house, leaving Remus and Tollie alone for even longer periods of time. Where Tollie longed to be outside, Lupin's own internal clock began to buzz loudly. As it had been set to school time since he was five, his unemployment caused him to feel lethargic. Tollie blamed the _Crucio_ curse, which only caused another argument between him and Snape over the cause of Remus's mood.

This entire dysfunctionality of 12 Grimauld climaxed one early July morning when Tollie oozed into the kitchen at the very end of a feast of breakfast. He poured himself a cup of coffee, plopped into a chair, then looked at his two roommates, abruptly realizing that Severus was looking more petulant than usual. "What?"

"We have a new inmate, Andrill."

"Uggg..."

Remus fixed a plate full of food and placed it next to the boy. "He should have been here by now." He went to the window and looked out. Tollie just grabbed a dry muffin out of a bowl as Remus worried the curtain. "One thing about Harry, Tollie, is that he has been rather despondent lately. He was with his relatives for a few weeks then went to the Weasley's for a couple weeks. Now he's staying here until school begins. Just try to be patient with him."

Tollie continued to gnaw on the doughy lump as the flames in the fireplace tinged green. An explosion of fire blazed outward, coalescing back into the form of a sixteen year old boy with green eyes, an empty birdcage in one hand and a suitcase strapped to a broomstick in another. "Hello, Professor Lupin" he said meekly, setting down his things.

Remus smiled at the boy. "Hello, Harry. I'm glad you could make it. Care to eat?"

"Yes, thank you." He sat down at the table next to Tollie, and loaded a plate full with food, overlooking the previously filled plate. "Hedwig will be along shortly. She wanted to fly in. Something about floo fire always singing her wings, I think."

Remus turned back to the quiet boy. "Tollie, this is Harry Potter. Harry- Tollie is a friend of mine, and will be staying here with us."

Harry snuck a quick glance at the sullen Severus, then turned back to the other teenager. "Hello," He said.

"Yo." Tollie threw a small wave.

"Tollie," Remus began, "Harry is Sirius's godson."

With that pronouncement, Tollie's interest in his fellow teenager grew exponentially, his eyes turned from an apathetically brown to a bright green that matched Harry's own eye color. "Remus has told me a lot about your godfather. So you're staying here, huh? Another lost soul for Remus's collection, no doubt." He threw Snape a quick look long enough for the older man to take offense.

Harry, unaccustomed to Tollie's informal style of introduction that didn't involve gushing over his family's past, was left slightly speechless and rather pleased. The mention of Sirius in such an offhanded manner, though, made him a bit hollow inside at the same time. "I'd heard that Professor Lupin had sort of adopted you this summer," he mumbled through a mouthful of pancakes and bacon.

"Where'd you hear that?"

"Mrs. Weasley. She thinks that you've really helped to make him feel better since this spring."

Tollie groaned loudly, embarrassed at the gushing. "Ugh- sounds like her."

"Eh, I like Mrs. Weasley." Harry replied, trying to ignore both Professor Lupin AND Professor Snape's glances at him.

Oh, she's okay." Tollie finished his muffin, and stood up. He nodded at Remus, and ignored Snape. "Well, I gotta go muck out Buckbeak's room. It's disgusting, but it's exercise. Wanna help?"

"Sure!" Harry jumped at the chance to meet his old friend again, and trooped up the stairs behind Tollie, leaving the two adults alone in the kitchen.

The boys entered the now converted corral of a room slowly. The hippogriff was on the ground, asleep under a sun ray slipping in through a window. Its feathers ruffled slightly as a single eye opened at the intruders. Recognizing the duo, it squawked loudly and got up onto its feet, bowing the entire time.

Tollie wrinkled his nose, his freckles flaring at the pungency. "No matter how many times I do this, I just can't get used to the smell." Little driblets of dung that had been ground into straw covered the far corner.

"Harry, go open the window and keep ol' Bucky busy." Tollie ordered. Harry pushed the glass up then nearly leapt at the animal in a shower of petting and hugging. The hippogriff nuzzled back and started purring in a clucking sort of way.

Tollie, meanwhile, fused every bit of dung and straw into small rectangles, smoldering them just long enough to harden them, and whisked them out the window. "They'll dry out for a few days; then the Weasley's'll go till it into their garden. This stuff is two galleons a pound as it's considered to be so powerful for vegetable growing. I think that it only attracts more garden gnomes, but nobody listens to my gardening advice. Of course, it also makes great target practice at-" Tollie stopped mid-sentence once he realized that Harry was staring at him, mouth slightly agape. "What?"

"Your wand."

"And?"

"It's not there."

Tollie sighed, mumbling something about innovation. Pulling up his left shirt sleeve, he revealed the taped-on willow wand. "Just enough give in the wood so as to be unnoticeable. It's just an amplifier at any rate; I'm the one doing most of the work." Tollie explained, watching innocuously as Buckbeak swung his head over hard and nudged Harry's shoulder hard enough to not quite dislocate it. Harry bounded forward several inches before stopping himself from falling over as the beast snorted a bit for more attention.

Tollie just chuckled as Harry went back to petting the animal then left the two in the room. He walked down the hallway, nearly reaching the stairs, when he felt a presence behind him. He turned around quickly, his left arm ready, and saw Severus watching him from beside the darkening window. "Come to spy, Snape? Making sure that I won't do anything Death Eaterish against Potter?"

"I wouldn't waste my time," Snape replied, "Potter can bungle things up well enough without your help."

"I see that he has at least one redeeming quality- the talent to royally piss you off without even being in the same room." Tollie grinned innocently. "So what'd he do? Prove your complete and utter inability to competently teach children two-third's your age like any other normal adult?"

"If only you had the capacity to understand anything remote like the truth, Andrill-"

"You're the last person to be able to talk about the 'truth-'" Tollie interrupted, only to hear Buckbeak's door slip open loudly.

Harry stood right by the doorframe, an odd expression on his face as he saw the two others stare at him. "Hello, I was… just going downstairs for some lunch," he explained dumbly.

Snape just melted into his own room as Tollie for the other teenager to catch up with him by the stairs. "So how often?" he asked, once they were halfway down.

"How often what?" Harry asked back.

"How often do you listen in on private conversations?"

Harry's face grew red. He jumped down another stair before mumbling, "I didn't mean to listen."

Tollie threw the boy a cheeky grin, "you know, Snape is right about one thing- you are a bit of a prat."

"I am not!" Harry spat back.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with it in small doses, but your problem is that you try to turn it into something noble."

"You don't even know me!" Harry stopped dead on the staircase, glaring at the other teenager.

"I know you well enough, Harry. Here's a bit of advice- you get angry way too much. Your emotions will get you every time."

"And what would you know about that?"

"See? Remember- constructive criticism is a good thing, but you take everything to heart. That will be your downfall if you're not careful." Tollie explained, as he continued past the boy.

Harry remained silent as he entered the kitchen behind the older boy. Remus sat by the great table, playing solitary wizard chess on a very old, very cracked board. Harry slid down onto a dining room chair, and began to finger a large scorch mark atop the table. "What's wrong, Harry?" Remus asked, moving a white rook across the board. Its mirrored black counterpart immediately skittered across black tiles, and took a pawn. The brute of a piece raised its broadsword with two hands, and neatly bisected the white squire along its waist. The squire's cracked standard clattered to the tile as the divided pieces collapsed on top of it. Remus winced a bit for his dead pawn, but moved another piece.

"Why is Professor Snape here?" Harry asked, "and where is the rest of Sirius's stuff?"

Remus gazed from Harry to Tollie, who was far too quiet and innocent looking for the man's liking. "We finished cleaning the Manor right before- Tollie moved in. Sirius wanted to get rid of all of the house's contents and buy new furniture, but we ran out of time. A few pieces remained, and I haven't bought anything new. I invited Tollie here, and Professor Snape is… here at Dumbledore's request."

"Oh. So when did Tollie move in?" came the next question. Tollie's eyes turned hazel with flecks of red mixed throughout. He just sat there, not speaking while he was being ignored.

"Tollie moved in about a month ago. He needed some help, you see." The older boy only rolled his eyes. Harry said nothing, but grew sullen. "I know, how about a picnic later?" Remus suggested, "I know that when I was your age, Harry, we were always starving- no matter how much we smuggled out of Hogwart's kitchen." Tollie shrugged his shoulders, while Harry went from sullen to morose. "I'll get it arranged, and we can go eat in the park during in an hour or so. Harry, why don't you to go invite Professor Snape for me, and Tollie can help prepare the food." Harry gaped at the order. He slowly left the room, lingering as much as possible.

When Harry finally managed to leave the room, Remus turned back to his unofficial ward, "Tollie…" he said slowly.

"What?" Tollie said, aghast at Remus's accusation. "All I did was called him a prat after I caught him eavesdropping on me and Snape."

"Tollie!"

"What? I didn't even call him a full prat- just a bit of one." Remus pursed his lips. "It's good for him, Professor. I swear." Tollie defended himself quickly. "All sixteen year olds need to be called a prat at some point," he added faintly.

"Even you?"

"Especially me," Tollie's voice dropped out from under him. "If I had, I probably wouldn't even be here." His patent smirk returned, his eyes turning silvery grey and the freckles returning with a vengeance. "Are we really going on a picnic with Snape?"

"If he accepts."

"No bloody way. I'd pay good money to see that. I bet that he gets attacked by acid ants and everything."

"Don't even think it," Remus warned. The boy only shrugged his shoulders, his freckles dissolving into a pale ivory. "And be nice to Harry: he just lost Sirius."

"So did you," Tollie countered.

"Just… please for my sake."

"All right, I just need to finish readying the dung bricks. Send Harry out when he gets back. I hear he's friends with Fred and George. Mrs. Weasley will never suspect Harry will be their hippogriff dung bomb supplier."

"I cannot believe that I'm here." Snape deadtoned. He was clumped under a large oak tree, dead center on a blanket. His ill-fitting Muggle clothes bunched and pulled, accentuating the fact that they were both too wide and short for his spare frame. Harry, in a t-shirt and shorts, was sprawled out over a patch of grass. He stared at the high orange and blue cumulus clouds overhead, his stomach bulging out from the overly impressive picnic. Laying there, he felt sticky as the mid afternoon sun sagged hotly upon his body; yellowing grass blades prickled his legs and back. Looking upward, he arched his back slightly, and watched the three others on the hill upside down, his glasses flipping up against his eyebrows. He observed as Remus moved a rook, only to lose his other piece via garroting.

Severus almost smiled.

Professor Lupin was still playing on his old chess set. Professor Snape sat forbiddingly on the blanket, Tollie sat against the tree, staring at the park down below. Harry wiped the sweat off his neck then looked back at the three. "I just realized something," he frowned slightly. "You guys are all wearing long shirts, and it's bloody hot out here."

"I don't get 'hot,' Potter," Severus sniped in his black shirt, moving another piece from his own board. "Honestly, Remus. Do you even try to play?"

Lupin only smiled and slid another piece. He did, however, move his shirt sleeves exactly one-fourth the way up his arms.

Tollie just sat there.

"Why don't we head back in?" Remus finally suggested, watching his king being decapitated by nearly 50 blows bequeathed from a bishop dressed as a solemn inquisitor. "Honestly, Severus, must your pieces be so ruthless?"

"Call it," the other teacher answered dryly, "an homage."

Harry clenched his fists.

"Relax, Potter," Tollie called out, "it was just a joke. Enjoy the fact that Snape actually tried to use his decrepit sense of humor. I assumed that it atrophied long ago."

Snape was about to respond when Remus sighed loudly. "Are all three of you going to act like this until school starts again?"

"Yep." Tollie grinned at Harry.

"Well, if that's the case, I'll take my leave. There's a full moon this week, and I have to put a few things in order first." With that, his chess pieces jumped back into order, and he strode back to the house, leaving the three others behind.

"Come along, you two," Severus ordered, watching Remus tromp back to the house in a snit. The picnic wares packed, the teacher set off at a quick pace, following the other man.

Returning to the Manor, the three split up immediately. Tollie fled to the backyard, intent on finishing the work on the dung bricks, while Harry drifted upstairs to visit Buckbeak.

Snape slithered off to wherever he went to during the day Tollie reflected as he worked outside. The smell of drying hippogriff dung was blasphemous, but still being outside made up for the olfactory offense.

He continued to putter around the backyard, not doing much of anything truly significant when Harry was chased out of the house by an irritated Snape. The younger teenager looked at the morass of overgrown grass that carpeted the lawn, then over at Tollie, whom had magically became 'busy with other things.' Harry looked around the yard until he spotted a rusting Muggle lawn mower that had somehow set up residence in the Pureblood garden. Harry grimaced at the contraption, knowing that Professor Snape had purposely put there long ago just for him to find. He managed to yank the mower on, not quite taking off a finger with the rope pull, and began to mow the soon-to-be hay bales as Tollie dried out the sun baked bricks.

Two hours later, the high summer sun beat down upon the two boys. They sat lazily on a large stone that jutted out of the earth. They remained quiet, distant from each other as the last of the adobe dung bricks floated through the air and landed on a small, rust-patched wagon that never seemed to get full.

As the last brick shuttled itself onto the others, Tollie dropped under the shade of the house. Harry soon followed to the shady oasis, his body covered in grass clippings and dust. "I can't wait until I turn 17," he pouted, thumping the lawnmower with his foot.

"Magic is just another form of work," Tollie retorted. "Of course, it does have its perks." With that, he mumbled a word and flexed his arm a bit. Within seconds, a large glass full of chunky ice drifted out with a can of soda in tow. He pointedly ignored the other boy as he cracked open the can and poured its contents over the steamy ice. He chugged hard, carbon dioxide fizzed over his nose, expanding the freckles into great blotches across his nose and face. Finally acknowledging the other boy, he drained the glass then began chomping on the ice as a finale.

Harry just sat there, ignoring the tableau.

Another ice cube crunched loudly; Harry grunted at the noise. He glanced at his fellow teenager, then rolled his short sleeves up under the shirt. Leaning back against the house, he placed his arms behind his back and stretched.

Tollie rolled his eyes, and chewed that much harder. Looking at the boy, he snorted derisively.

"What?" Harry asked.

"You've got a bit of a tan, Potter," Tollie explained.

Harry looked down at his arms, and realized that he was now sporting a hardcore farmer's tan on his arms with his upper arms bearing his normal pale . "It's still bloody hot out here," he complained, laughing at his sunburn. "So, what brings you here, Andrill?"

"Eh, Remus is letting me rent a room here for the summer. He's an old friend of the family."

"How long have you known him?"

"Oh, about a month now."

"'Old friend of the family?'"

"I didn't say that I knew him personally," Tollie retorted. "Any more questions?"

"Well, I have been curious about your eyes."

Tollie sighed at the question. "My grandfather was a full metamorphmagus. I just inherited the eyes and freckles part."

"I have a friend who's a full one. She never said anything about partial ones, though. I just thought that it was just an either or thing."

"Most of us are partial shifters, but we also don't normally advertise our abilities. Full and partial metamorphmagi are generally shunned by the Wizarding community as we're considered to be different- the power to change our looks at will is looked down upon as something inherently devious. Metamorphmaging is just are enough to not be common, but blatant enough to be considered dangerous. Anything that sets apart or changes a wizard or witch is somehow 'scandalous.' Our culture pretends to like differences, but what we truly thrive on are our similarities: Nothing scares a Pureblood like diversity."

I'm considered different."

"Oh, yes. The Boy Who Lived, and all that nonsense. One more hero, one more great epic."

"Well, there is that, yes."

"There's more? I bet that you get tired of people telling you about yourself."

"I'm also a Parseltongue- not very many people outside of Hogwart's knows about it."

"Now that is something, Potter." Tollie stated sincerely. "I'll bet that it scared everyone gutless as well."

"A bit, at first- it's a long story. But everyone got used to it after a while."

"Everyone?"

"Well, not my friends. Everyone else, though. The Slytherins didn't really care one way or another- just another reason to harass me until they got bored with it."

"Know many Slytherins?"

"Well, there's Malfoy and Crabbe and Goyle and the Quidditch team and-"

"Okay, outside of the bullies, the illiterate, the inbred, and the jocks, how many Slytherins do you actually know?"

"I don't know- not that many, I guess. But all of the evil wizards have come out of Slytherin."

Tollie sputtered. "Who in the world told you that?"

"Hagrid did… when I was 10."

"The groundskeeper!"

"He's a teacher now- Care of Magical Creatures."

"So you've based an entire House on what Hagrid told you when you were ten years old?"

"What's it to you? You sound like a Slytherin."

"I am a Slytherin," Tollie stated. "Or I was before I left. I hated my House, but it was still my House."

"Oh."

"Once you get past the ambitious, the ruthless, and the amoral sociopaths, we're not a bad lot. You're just still stuck in the middle of the school House system, and don't realize how artificial it is. It's just set up so students have some form of extracurricular entertainment besides wanton destruction. Trust me, two years after you get out of school, nobody will care what House you were in unless they're obsessive freaks- like people who stalk the royalty."

"I guess."

"So what are you going to do when you get out of school?"

"I want to become an auror." Harry asserted, happy to on more familiar ground.

"I see- continue to fight the good fight: 'Onward Christian Soldiers' and all that."

Harry shrugged. "I want to help."

"Right- keep fighting until you destroy Voldemort and every evil Deatheater in the world. And then after that?"

"I just want to be an auror, I guess."

"Those people don't have ANY sort of life, Potter- look at Mad Eye. Aren't you tired of fighting? From what I've heard, you've been doing it most of your life. If you're not careful, you're going to end up like Lupin."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you know of Muggle History?"

"Which part?"

"Post World War One to pre-World War Two. More specifically England and America and most of Europe."

"Not really."

"Lupin has a lot in common with it. 'Lost Generation' and all that- too much death and destruction at too young an age. And then when it was all over, they didn't know what to do with themselves. Millions dead- millions more who only knew how to kill. Lupin's what? 35? But he looks ten years older. Snape does too. And I bet that most of your friends' wizard parents have that same look to them- if you know what to look for. Is that how you want to end up?"

"What do you mean?"

"You think all of this will just end once Voldemort finally kicks it? He's just the latest Megalomaniac to come round the bend. Oh, the Deatheaters will go underground again, but given enough time, they'll start to reform behind a new radical malcontent. You, Potter, are just another chapter in a very long, very secret civil war between the Ministry and the Purebloods. It's all about power and lineages, kid- the two most moronic things in the world." Tollie looked over at the younger teenager. Harry was looking particularly pessimistic on a much too nice of a day. Tollie just grinned. "Well, I'm disgustingly filthy. I'm heading inside, you can stay out here if you want, Potter." With that, Tollie headed back into the mansion, leaving Harry behind. "One last thing," Tollie threw over his shoulder, "just remember- we were witnesses to Snape in the Great Outdoors. This is indeed a banner day."

Tollie found himself tired, cranky, sweaty, and thoroughly annoyed at how his first picnic ever turned out. Ticking off Snape was like doing down an up escalator- far too tempting to ignore and always stuck in the on position. Harry, however, was just too easy. He entered the bathroom, and ran a tub of water. As the water began to rise, he undressed and watched himself in the mirror. His body's freckles goose bumped in the cold until they soothed down to his own skin tone. He laughed at the mirror as made faces at him.

His right arm, barbed and malignant, divulged his past transgression, but he quickly shoved that part of his life aside, and began to experiment on his eye color. Getting them to change to the same color was easy, even when three or more pigments were involved, but getting them to transform independent of one another was his ultimate goal. He had worked on it for years, patiently setting one eye a certain color, then working on the other, but he had only managed to change it to grey and greyer so far. He bound his left eye brown, then tried to reflect a non-brown color- something hazel or even green with the right.

Ten minutes of experimentation left him with crossed eyes and an extreme migraine. He dumped out the old water, refilled it with fresh, and lit a few candles for softer illumination.

He relaxed as water engulfed tired muscles. His eyes slipped into a light tan, his head resting against the cool porcelain. The combination of the warm bath and the cold porcelain tub left him drowsy. He soon started snoring in triplicate due to exceptional acoustics as the sun finally buried itself over the horizon; the tub regulating the water to a perfect blood warm temperature.


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter 7

WHAM

Tollie jolted awake, his head submerged under water. He gagging on soap, and forced himself up.

"Professor Lupin!" a voice rang through his water logged ears.

Tollie looked up, and saw Harry running from the room. "Harry, wait!" He cried out, flinging a towel around his waist. He put his foot out onto the tile floor, where it promptly slipped out from under him. His head connected solidly with the sink- white fairy lights floated before his eyes as he slid onto the ground. Harry ran back into the room, his wand pointed at the boy.

"Harry- wait- you don't understand." Tollie croaked, spitting up saliva and bubblebath.

"You're a Deatheater!" Harry snarled, his wand leveled towards Tollie's throat.

Lupin and Snape both finally reached the room as Harry menaced closer. Tollie, still stranded on the floor, his towel wrestling to stay on, sat there looking overwhelmed. "Harry, don't," Remus pleaded quietly. "You don't understand." The younger boy hesitated long enough for Tollie to find a purchase against the nearest wall. "He's not a Deatheater," Remus continued, his sight roving between the two boys.

"Harry, just please," Tollie got to his feet, his left hand wrapped around his right forearm.

"Andrill's not a Deatheater, Potter" Snape stated. "Not anymore."

To everyone's amazement, Harry finally diswanded himself, and took off running.

Remus started to follow, but was stopped by the other teacher. "I'll do it," Severus declared, and pursued Harry down the hall.

Tollie slid back to the ground as Remus kneeled next to him on a very wet floor. "Well, I wasn't expecting for him to find out this way," Remus said softly.

"There really isn't a right way," Tollie replied, reaching for his shirt. "I better get used to that response."

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, no, I don't know. My head feels off." He grabbed for his right temple. "Give me a sec." The boy was left alone, somehow managing to get dressed and bind his wand to his left arm without cracking the wall with his head. He looked at himself in the mirror and groaned.

"What?" Remus burst back in on the boy.

"My eyes," Tollie explained. "One is yellow and the other is orange."

"Do you need a healer?" Remus seized Tollie's chin and moved it into the light.

"No- just didn't realize that a smack to the head was what was needed to pull off this trick" One pupil expanded; the other persisted on staying the same size. "I've been trying to do this trick for years, you see." Tollie laughed hoarsely and began to concentrate. The left went ecru while the other went magenta. "I think I need to lay down, Professor Lupin." He reached out for support as the room twirled and color shifted. Remus instantly propped a hand against Tollie's back and arm, and guided him to his bedroom. The boy collapsed onto the cadaverous bed, his breathing thin and shallow. Remus went out into the hallway, and called for the other teacher to return. Severus immediately emerged from the staircase. He looked far too smug as an upset Harry followed behind him. "Severus, do you mind flooing to Hogwarts? I need to contact Dumbledore."

Harry paled. "Is Tollie okay?"

"I'm not sure, I think that he has a concussion; but with his condition, I can't just take him to St. Mungos... I'll be right back- I probably ought to go wake him up."

He went back into the room, and found Tollie pacing. "Tollie?"

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, just pippy."

"I sent Snape to get some help."

"Yes, I felt it."

"Felt what?"

"I need to leave, Remus."

"Leave?"

"Far, far away?"

"Why?"

Tollie stopped walking. He looked up at the teacher, his eyes a murky yellow. "Because." "They're tracking me." Remus's breath died as the boy lifted his shirt sleeve. The mark, only a year old and still quite clear, was blazing light. Its mouth had jutted open as a tattooed snake coiled itself around his arm. "I need to go," the boy whispered.

"You can't go, Tollie. You need to stay here." Remus slid back to the door and yelled. "Severus!"

The other man raced back to the room, a bag of floo powder leaking over his hands leaving a green trail behind him. "Bring him." Severus pronounced. "We need to get to Hogwarts immediately." Remus pulled the boy to the kitchen, nearly bumping into Harry. "Out of the way, Potter!" Snape ordered, giving Remus the floo bag. Harry, for once, obeyed the potions master without question.

"No, Harry needs to come too." Remus countermanded just as he and Tollie disappeared into the green fiery mists.

The four found themselves in the Defense Against the Dark Art's lodgings. Remus and Severus supported the boy to the nearest couch. He was lain down as a _Mobilicorpus_ spell was cast.

The school was extremely quiet as they made their way down to the infirmary. "Potter, go find Dumbledore," Snape decreed; the boy nodded and took off running. The infirmary's instantly crowded pictures and portraits watched from their perches, watching the intruders. They were all in states of informal summer dress, and much clucking emanated from them until Snape threw them an malevolent look.

"Do you know what's going on, Severus?" Remus asked as they searched through the infirmary's cupboards and drawers ignoring various screams, hexes, and curses that emanated from them. A few completely denied them access.

"I told Tollie that something like this might happen," Snape began. "These marks aren't just for decoration. They also serve a purpose."

"What's that?"

"Voldemort's not stupid enough to trust his own followers. I'm sure there are all sorts of spells and curses attached to them. There's a reason why I haven't tried to take mine off yet."

Remus finally found a tattered blanket stuffed in the back of a cupboard, and placed it over the sweating boy. "It'll be all right now, Tollie," Remus soothed, wiping the boy's forehead.

The door's banged open as Dumbledore swept into the room. "What has happened?"

"Tollie hit his head, and I think he's got a concussion. But he also says that he's being tracked," Remus stated, letting the older man examine the boy. "That's why we came here." Remus reached for his arm, but Tollie pulled away. "It's okay, Tollie. Let Dumbledore see." The expanding Mark was finally exposed to the headmaster.

Dumbledore peered down at the teenager, watching the snake grow in length. He reached down and lightly touched the arm. "Tollie."

"Mmm?" came a sickly reply.

"Who is tracking you?"

"The Others. My parents." Tollie answered lowly. "They say they love me."

"You can communicate with them now?"

"Oh, yes. They're very proud of me. They say that they want me back."

"Why is that?"

"Because I've shown them where Harry Potter is. They want to kill him, you see," he pronounced. "No," he amended. "They want me to kill him." His face broke as he turned to the ex-DADA teacher. "Professor Lupin, I don't want to kill him. I want to stay with you at 12-"

Remus shushed the boy with his hand "Don't talk, Tollie."

The boy's eyes suddenly snapped into a bright, clear blue. He grabbed Remus's hands, ripping the wand off his arm. "You must take it- I can't trust myself." He thrust it against the teacher, then fell back, his eyes clouding over again.

"Severus, I need you to take Harry to my chambers," Dumbledore ordered, "and lock yourselves in, and don't come out until you know that it's safe."

Severus left the infirmary, and found Harry listening to a portrait.

"You're to come with me, Potter" Snape grabbed Harry's arm, and dragged him a few feet before he began to fight back.

"What's going on?" Harry asked, trying to wriggle out of his teacher's grip.

Severus looked down at the teacher, "It appears that Tollie's concussion has caused a direct connection to the other Deatheaters. I have, in Dumbledore's infinite wisdom, been put in charge of your personal safety." He dragged Harry a few more feet, leaving future bruises on the boy's arms and drag marks along the floor. "Now kindly follow my directions for once in your life without your usual bickering... Please." Severus choked on the last word.

Harry finally picked up his feet, and followed his teacher back to the headmaster's chambers.


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter 8

"Tollie?" Remus kneeled down next to the prostrate boy. "What's wrong with him, Headmaster?" He asked, running a cool cloth over his forehead.

"I believe that he is fighting off a possession," the wizard answered quietly. "I believe that we might have to bind him before long. Tollie is very strong, but he is becoming weaker as time goes on."

"Are you sure?" Remus asked from the boy's side, his voice rising slightly.

"Yes," Albus reassured, reaching down to activate the bed's restraints. A diaphanous haze billowed from the bed. Tollie's eyes instantly flipped open, revealing yellow irises and oval pupils. The vapor exploded, slamming the two men back twenty feet. Tollie sat up on the destroyed bed, his eyes glowing as he flinched his right arm and his wand flew into his hand. The boy stood up, levitating an inch off the ground, and glided out of the infirmary.

Remus crawled over to Dumbledore and helped the old man sit up. His snowy white beard was staining a dark red as a deep gash bled from his cheek. "Go find him," Dumbledore ordered. "It's paramount that you save Harry."

Remus took off running.

He sprinted through the depths of the school: down endless flights of stairs, through empty corridors, past locked classroom doors. He saw no one; ghosts, pictures, cats, elves, poltergeists had all disappeared. A flash of light pulsed in front of him erratically. His heart pounded in his ears, his sight and smell overly sharp as he finally caught up with Tollie in front of Dumbledore's chambers. An orange light erupted soundlessly, blowing the portal open. "Tollie- Stop!" Remus exhaled as he saw Snape standing defensively in front of Harry.

"So, Severus, I see you for what you are now," Tollie's voice gargled. "The same as this pathetic boy- too weak for anything but to cower in the shadows. Hiding. From me."

"I believe that we have an unwanted pest, Potter." Snape replied, a thin smile on his lips. "I'm not the one who has to use children to their dirty work. Tom. I saw right through you decades ago. You're nothing but a sniveling orphan, no better than a mere Muggle scared of his own shadow."

"I'm going to enjoy killing you, Severus."

"I think not. After all, you couldn't even perform a simple killing curse against a baby, let alone me. I'm afraid your epitaph has already been written, Riddle. 'Here lies Tom Riddle- destroyed by a mere infant."

Remus crept calmly towards Tollie hoping that Snape's taunts would distract the boy. He was two feet away when his windpipe started to constrict.

"Ah, Lupin. I wondered when you would appear." Tollie stated coldly.

Harry pushed himself past Snape yelling "_Expelliarmus!"_ at Tollie. Tollie collided back into Remus just as he had jumped for the teenager. The two went down hard. Remus grabbed onto Tollie's arms, but was quickly kicked back. They wrestled and fought until Remus was finally atop the thin teenager. Severus held Tollie's wand at the boy's throat.

"Don't think that I won't do it, Tom. All three of us know about April 30, 1979." The boy quit struggling. Remus slowly got off, and helped him to his feet.

Tollie blinked, his eyes turned a sea green. Tears slid down as he shrunk back into himself. "I'm so sorry, Professor- I didn't know!" He cried hysterically as great gulps of breath forced its way into his chest..

"It's not your fault, Tollie." Remus replied, reaching for the boy.

"No! Don't!" Snape yelled too late. The boy lunged at Harry, only to stagger back as Snape blasted a hole through the side of his throat. Tollie stumbled back against Remus, blood gushing out of a two inch gash from a completely severed carotid.

Remus went numb and cold as he helped Tollie onto the floor, his mouth making pathetic gurgling noises. He looked into the boy's face, watching the boy staring back until his eyes still and turned black. Time ended until a hand grabbed his shoulder. He looked out, finding Severus's robes next to his head.

"Remus, he's gone." Snape professed, his voice sounding sympathetic for the first time in his life. Lupin heard the proclamation, but couldn't acknowledge it.

"He was just a boy," he whispered.

"He was a casualty." Snape replied, dropping his hand.

Harry walked silently to Remus, his own hand extended to touch his old teacher. Remus jerked away from the boy, giving him an odd look. "Not right now, Harry," he stammered. He climbed to his feet and fled from the room, Tollie's blood still covering his clothes.


	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter 9

Tollie's body was cold, desolate. It had been placed in the infirmary until it could be claimed. Remus sat next to it, his face as bloodless as the boy's.

"Remus?" Dumbledore entered the room. "Tollie's parents are here."

"Why?"

"I let them know what happened," the wizard explained. He disappeared back through the door and reemerged with Mr. And Mrs. Andrill. Remus just sat there as an older couple entered the room, the husband held his wife in his arms. "Orin, Astrella, I"m sorry about your son. He was a very special boy," Dumbledore said, leading them to their dead son. "Remus Lupin here has been watching out for him for a while now."

Astrella's eyes were white and rheumy as she peered down at the corpse, not really seeing anything at all. Malnourished tears stained her cheeks and eyelids as she wept openly.

"Tollie has been under my care for the past month," Remus explained automatically, "He's been well fed, cared for, and looked after.

"I don't understand- what happened? Why is he dead?" Orin asked.

"When was the last time you saw your son?" Remus asked back.

"Almost seven months ago. One night, he just ran away. We've been so worried about him. You have no idea what it's been like."

Remus sat there, not looking at the two. "I found Tollie living in London last May. He moved into my house not long after that- well, he was afraid, you see. He wouldn't admit it, but he was only seventeen. Tonight, he had been possessed by Voldemort, and ended up dying because of it."

Astrella shook violently at the news, her husband supported her until she quieted.

"He was killed before he could harm anyone, including himself. It was an unfortunate accident."

"An accident?" Orin spat out. "He was murdered, you mean. And I want to know who murdered him."

"I did," Severus glided into the room, his robes swirling behind him.

"You did?" Orin gasped. "But why?"

"It was needed," Severus replied evenly.

The older man stilled at the pronouncement. "We will take our son and leave immediately."

"You knew, didn't you?" Remus spoke up.

"Knew what?" Orin looked befuddled.

"That he had the Dark Mark- he was afraid of you. That because he couldn't handle being a Death Eater, you would have killed yourself or turned him over to Voldemort. Well, I hope you're happy. He died for you and your stupid Death Eater fascism."

"He once told me how he got the Mark. How he was taken to some godforsaken cemetery and met Voldemort alone. He did the various rites, the general bullshit promises, et cetera. And then, he got the Mark. You know he laughed about it? Only Tollie could laugh about such things. How Voldemort went to Mark him, but, at the last second, he asked for it to be put on his right arm because he was left-handed, and that it might interfere with is wand work- he taped his wand to his arm, you know. So he showed Voldemort the tape, and surprisingly, that sociopath actually agreed to Mark him on the right arm. It's probably the nicest thing he ever did in his life. I don't know, he might have done it because it just amused him. Maybe you should ask him the next time you see him."

"How dare you-"

"Don't give me your self-righteous, hypocritical insults. Tollie was afraid of only one thing, and it wasn't Voldemort. Are you happy? You didn't deserve Tollie, and now you've sacrificed the only thing that made you remotely human. Now you're just a pawn- a soulless monster who let their son die for your Nazi ideologues. I hope this whole thing gets you further up the Death Eater foodchain, because when you get sent to Azkaban, the Dementors are going to leave you this one perfect memory of your dead son to keep you warm during those long, cold nights. I watched him die, You-"

"Remus! Enough." Severus interrupted, his normal stoicism cracking slightly.

"Professor Snape, please help Professor Lupin to a nice cup of tea." Dumbledore ordered. "It's been a long evening, and everyone is still grieving."

Severus nodded and grasped Remus's elbow hard. Lupin took a step towards the Andrills, then allowed himself to be led away. He walked out of the infirmary, the door swinging behind him, cutting off his last sight of the dead boy.


	10. Epilogue

Epilogue

Snape entered the school infirmary alone. The dreary day had passed into a miasma. Madame Pomfrey had appeared from her summer home in Tahiti in time to patch up Dumbledore's scratch and deal with Remus's emotional shutdown.

Severus found himself cleaning his dungeons. Cauldrons, empty jars and vats, burners, dishes, floors, pots, anything he could get his hands on was scrubbed, polished, cleaned, and buffed. He ignored the outside world until he realized that the day had died away, leaving only a smudgy darkness in its wake.

"Professor Snape."

"I'm rather quite busy at the moment," he echoed from inside a particularly large cauldron.

"Professor Snape, the headmaster wants to see you in the infirmary."

The potions master dropped his scrub brush, and looked up. The bloody baron stood before him, great drops of translucent blood dripped over the floor. "I realize that your blood evaporates, but I have just cleaned in here and I can detect its residue long afterwards." The house ghost just glared at him back. "Fine, just let me get this last bit, and I'll see him when I'm finished." The Baron nodded, and floated up through the ceiling, leaving splotches behind him.

Severus cleaned himself up a bit, then headed for the infirmary. The room had become gloomy inside. Great swaths of curtains and fabric covered the high windows and even the pictures were vacant of its usual inhabitants. Madame Pomfrey met him at the door, trying to keep him out, but Dumbledore diverted her attempts. "It's quite all right, Poppy- I invited Severus."

The school healer glared at the teacher, "I don't believe that's wise, Albus, and I must protest his presence in my infirmary."

"I realize that what has transpired today has been a tragedy, but I promise that we will have a nice, long discussion about what happened." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled slightly.

Pomfrey's face grew red as she stormed out, muttering "I'll be back in Tahiti," along the way.

Severus ignored her pouting as he followed the headmaster to a heavily curtained area. Dumbledore whispered into a flower pattern, and a seam appeared. It spread apart magically, revealing an exhausted Tollie lying on the bed.

"How are you, Tollivan?" Dumbledore asked.

"Just peachy," He smiled. "Pomfrey really helped- there isn't any pain, you know," He reassured himself.

"Tollie-"

"It's okay, Professor Snape- it was for the best, really."

"I still want to- apologize."

"Wow," Tollie grinned. "Severus Snape being contrite for the first time in his life. This so made it worth it. Honestly, don't worry about it. I'm just lucky that I got off so easy." Tollie pointed to his arm.

"Are you sure that you want to do this?"

"Definitely. Just- keep an eye out on Professor Lupin for me."

Snape tried smiling. "I'll try, but you know how wolf-headed he gets."

Tollie chuckled weakly, his face blanching. "Oh, and if you ever see my parents at a Deatheater's dinner party, tell 'em to 'sod off' for me."

"It's time, Severus." Dumbledore grabbed the man's arm. Snape nodded, and let himself be led away from the boy, the curtain swishing closed behind them.

"Sit, Severus," Dumbledore ordered, scooting a chair over for the man. "This will be slightly disconcerting. Changing memories is much harder than simply erasing them."

The man nodded his assent. "_Obliviate!_" Dumbledore tapped Snape's head with his wand- a bright light pushed its way through Severus's skin pores, then the fused skull sutures, and then finally penetrated the brain. He slumped forward as neural pathways and braincells were being disconnected and redirected. Dumbledore pushed him back against the headrest until he regained his motor control functions.

Snape looked up at the old wizard confused. "What happened, Headmaster?"

"You've had a long night, Severus," Dumbledore replied. "I suggest that you sleep here in your chambers tonight."

"I remember blood- on the ceiling."

"Yes, we will discuss matters in the morning, but it's best that you get some sleep now. Here- I've found that these Muggle sleeping tablets work wonders." He held out a few small pills in his hand. "But whatever you do, don't chew them. Just swallow them whole."

Snape, shaky and dumb, took the pills and stumbled out of the room.

Dumbledore watched him go, the doors slamming shut, then went back to Tollie. "Now then. Have you given much thought about the future?"

"I don't know. I snapped my wand earlier. I think I'm through with magic for a while- no more street performing for me. I'm destitute, but I'm used to that, and everyone thinks I'm dead, that I'm not so used to.

"Snape did me a favor, and got rid of my small problem," Tollie wiggled his elbow, bandages had been wrapped around it where the rest of the arm used to be. "But I'm probably better off this way."

"I could get you outfitted with a prosthetic at St. Mungos." Dumbledore offered.

"No, I'll be fine. What's that Muggle saying? 'If your arm offends you, cut it off?' Once Voldemort is finally gone, I might return to England. The Death Eaters will always exist, but they won't really know what happened with me. I'll return then. Maybe."

"You are a remarkable boy, Tollivan." Dumbledore stated. "Have you given any thought as to where you want to go? I can be your secret keeper, if you wish."

"Yeah, I was thinking Australia- might get a Muggle job somewhere."

Dumbledore laughed, "Australia is a rather island- a continent, no less, for me to try to hide."

"Eh, I have confidence in you, Headmaster. And if not, there's always New Zealand." Tollie replied, his eyes fluttering with exhaustion. "I do worry about Professor Lupin, though. I wish he didn't care about me so much. That prat Potter didn't help matters, though."

"Both of them will survive, and are better to have known you. Harry has been very angry lately. He's had a hard life, and I'm afraid that it will only become harder the older he gets."

"That's true for everyone, Headmaster."

"Yes," Dumbledore replied noncommittally.

Tollie sighed, the last of his energy dying."Just watch out for Lupin- get him a job, even teaching Muggle children would work. He just needs to teach, to do something with his life. Anything to get him out of that Mausoleum. It's not healthy living in that place- too many ghosts and bad memories. I know he won't accept it if he thinks the job is coming from you, but-"

"I completely agree, Tollivan. Now get some sleep. And you needed worry anymore." Dumbledore reassured. " I hear that Australia is beautiful this time of year."

Tollie nodded off, snuggling into the starchy blankets, his right arm feeling better than it had in years.


End file.
